Self reproach

Self-reproach.There is no other human feeling as strong and disgusting as feeling of self reproach.Among the various reasons of experiencing it,the disappointment on expressing the inability to help someone in need is most painful.When the remedy is beyond human reach,it is still consoleable but in situation where one could have helped had it not been his folly,it is pinnacle of regret.Few months back,i was in my class teaching students and then a staff from accounts section approached me,he handed me a list of fee defaulter,I was suppose to call those names as in the list and warn them that their names would be taken off the roll on their failure to pay in next 2 days.I did exactly as a diligent employee should do but in flow of the moment questioned one student on the reason of non payment.His answer touched my heart.(there is no point sharing something which will sadden you too,after all thats not the motive of my blog,we here share ways to be ever happy,I do not endorse to sell pain)I deeply wanted to pay for his fees but was not allowed by my budget.I did nothing that day but cursed myself.Had i saved something all these years,it could be of great value that day and be of great help to this needful child.Somewhat similar feeling was portrayed in 1971 hindi movie Anand.Amitabh sir’s character curses himself and regrets his inability to help dying patient.So in this world where many needful is easily seen and found, i wish people to approach them as god’s messenger and release them of their agony,be by their side in this ordeal of theirs.This might be like wishing for holy grail.The entire idea is alien to many self-centred,heartless,machine like humans.These people are deeply engrossed in fulfilling their own,never ending wants that they have no time to atleast glance,forget self reproach.Most of the time,these helpless ,needy people crosses the line in anticipation and joins or forms a self help group,whom we call as members of darkened society.Is it entirely their fault?Is it unhuman to be in demanding position,no,crime is to anonymously push them into darkness,from where they will threaten our light, our hope,our peace.These now castaway still need help but their ask is beyond our capacity,we are forced to do nothing but regret and hope.The cause of all major problem,man made(which most of them are) is our self centred approach and when the problem grows out of proportion, we are forced to be mere spectator and indulge in retrospection and regret our missed opportunity to solve it in the very begining.So those with solutions should pull their socks and intervene in time or else will have to ……self reproach.If the fire is not exhausted now it will spread to our houses .

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